Whether you're getting pulled over in your native country or from driving abroad in a less legally structure country like Mexico, getting pulled over is no fun. Matter fact, every time that happens to me, whether or not I felt that I had actually done something wrong, my heart would pound wildly. However, despite this circumstance, you don't always have to give in to the idea that you're for sure going to get a ticket. For me, I've gotten away numerous a times in the US but it wasn't until Britt and I had gotten away 5 of the 6 times in Mexico did we realized we may have gotten a method to this madness. Therefore we would love to share with you our approach hoping that it'll help you handle those unfortunate circumstances better and perhaps as well in other unrelated but oh-so-similar circumstances in your life.
Like most things else in life, to do anything, first we think you gotta believe that it's possible; ATTITUDE is important. I suppose you can also say it's the law of attraction which I'm a firm believer in but I also care to be practical with my approaches. The other side is, if you don't believe it, you won't see it so all opportunities that may lead to it will not be exercised. So first off, believe that you can get away with a ticket, regardless of the circumstances, and right away you will increase your chances.
The next step is to ask how. HOW CAN I GET AWAY WITH A TICKET?? Asking this question is crucial because it allows your mental faculties to go to work to find out and everyone's answers will not be the same. For me, I simply put myself in the shoes of the police officer and asked myself, who would I not give a ticket to if I were to pull someone over for an infraction. And the answers were quite simple... Family, friends, and people I like.
Not always having a strong perspective early on in life, I wasn't fortunate to get away with these tickets until just about 10 years ago when I took it upon myself to question the meaning of life and what I can do to fully succeed in it the way I would like to--since most people view ''success'' differently. But that's information for another blog since I find millions of people everywhere can relate to that loaded topic. When realizing that I wouldn't ticket the people that embodied that kinda RELATABLE energy, I simply took it upon myself to treat these officers that pull me over as a person I liked, a friend, and even as far as a family member. If you're not a fan of people or don't know how to extract and share that kinda warm feeling and energies toward someone you've never met, no worries because these things can always be learned. Continually ask those questions and you'll find lots of answers to relate more with people. The more you can see what they find important and relatable, the higher your chances are of being likeable and hence forgiven for such things as a speeding ticket.
HUMILITY-- BE VULNERABLE, BE REAL.
Now with that perspective, once the officer approaches my car, I no longer embody the level of fear that I once did prior to this perspective. Once the cop comes near, immediately I would say, ''Hey what's up brother; I'm sorry about that and especially for wasting your time.'' My comment would be filled with a somewhat submissive or neutral energy at most, hardly ever that hot shot or overly confident kinda vibe. RIGHT AWAY, the rapport has been established as opposed to being complete strangers.
Then, the officer would follow up with something to the extent of whether I'm aware of what i did. Oh man, this follow up comment is what allowed me to achieve things that many people couldn't couldn't achieve without the same awareness and it involves something I've read that many people find an important key to success; humility. What I would tell the police officer was that I wasn't exactly paying attention because of some level of unsettling insecurity that distracted me from what I was doing. Either I had an argument with my significant other that left me unsettled or the thought of a close relative's death, or cuz i currently have this boiling anxiety that i don't know how to overcome, or whatever reason you feel they can really relate to in the deepest form. Personally, I feel every human beings possess similar insecurities and likely can relate to those serious issues that I've mentioned above if you possess the humility to share it.
In the face of humility, what I've observed is that our fellow humans have a tendency to look after one another, helping each other especially when someone's obviously in need of it and courageous enough to admit it to you. In those situations with the police, when you put yourself in a position of needing rescue, keeping it real so-to-speak to one of your inner deeper insecurities, the police will tap into his human spirit, which I believe is more prominent than the police morale, and want to truly ''rescue'' you to lift your spirit and one big way of doing this is to let you get away with the ticket. In a big nutshell, that's one method on how we've been able to away with as many tickets as we have. BE LIKEABLE, BE SUBMISSIVE, BE RELATABLE... BE REAL.
''TAP INTO THEIR NOBLER SELF'' --DALE CARNEGIE
Another approach that I find effective is something I'd learn from Dale Carnegie in his legendary book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. Some where in the book, Dale wrote that people all want to see themselves as a noble person so if you were to put them at a higher standard, they'll be inclined to live up to it. Just a few months ago in Mexico, we were pulled over near Ciudad de Mexico for not having a permit to drive during a NO CIRCULAR day, an effort supposedly aimed at reducing pollution. Even though it made sense to me that we deserved the ticket because we hadn't fully done our research before entering the area, I also felt that it was unfair because these laws weren't posted anywhere. Britt is the avid OCD planner in our relationship and even she had missed that one.
When the officer explained to us the reasoning behind the ticket, I had mentioned to him that it was unfair because... then said passionately to the officer in Spansh, ''To me, people of Mexico are people of the world and people of honor.'' Inherently, I believe the officers here are used to the corruption and if you don't remind them of the higher morale that existed within them, discretely, they can often forget about it. After a bit of chatting back and forth trying to understand each other, the officer told us we can go. I wasn't sure if he was just tire to speaking to us or perhaps what I had said had an impact on his decision but as soon as we were driving away, the police officer uttered to us, ''People of Mexico are people of honor.'' Hence, I'm compelled to believe that it works.
Many people loves friends or just being around people with positive and uplifting energy. About 7 years ago, while my twin brother and I were driving his then girlfriend and Brittanny, of whom I was beginning to date, we were pulled over by a police officer for not having an outdated registration. Not only that, being relatively irresponsible during those years of our lives, the officer also discovered that we didn't have our car insurance paperwork as well as our driver's license. Instead of feeling guilty, we acted normal and were talking about it like silly friends and somewhat laughed it off together. Because we sincerely appreciated him like a friend, he treated us exactly like a friend, he had felt really great about helping us out. Police are a lot more normal than we give them credit for and like all normal people, we just want to be loved and appreciated.
In another example, Britt, her cousin Janelle, and I were pulled over for slowly running a stop sign where there were no signs of traffic because we do not care to put anyone in a position of danger. When her cousin got a bit nervous, we quickly told her not to worry and that we were not going to get a ticket. NO MORE than 8 minutes after the friendly exchange, we were excused.
More examples on the power of humility. STORY NUMBER 1
I was at a huge water park music festival with Britt about 6 years ago and was in a huge crowd of people swarming to get in the VIP area. Apparently, it got too full so the entire staff was kindly ushering the crowd away from the area. People tried to throw money at the security to no avail but not having any kinda money that'll persuade the guy, I decided to keep it real and told one of the 20 security officers, ''hey brother, i'm fuckin broke as hell but would like to get my lady through. Any way you could help me out?'' Without any hesitation, he let me through. do excuse my ''fuckin'' language since i chose that specific word to relate in the moment. i'll write another blog soon about how i believe languages and guns are only surface problems to a stronger underlying problem in our society. Hence, getting rid of it will only spark new weapons but does not change the purpose/problems for it's use to wreak havoc.
The psychological energy behind this exchange to me was so powerful and even though i felt that it would be effective, i still was surprised and wanted to exchange further by asking him, ''why'd you decide to let me through?'' He quickly responded, ''cuz you kept it real.''
On another level, I felt that he allowed me to go through because 1, I related with him. I know that a lot of people have problems and insecurities, including me, about having enough money and even feeling ''broke'' a lot of the times. It's not a good feeling but the moment you hear someone out of the blue relate to those feelings, it makes you feel uplifted that you're not alone in that insecurity. We were ONE in that present moment and I sincerely felt that he was looking after me as if I was him, hence I believe I was able to get through where no one out of the hundreds were able to.
STORY NUMBER 2-- I'm gonna keep this one shortER.
One evening while in NYC with Britt and a group of friends, most of us wanted to go into a venue but were denied at the door because of our attire. After walking away in defeat for a moment, I decided to give the seemingly rigid well-dressed bouncer a second try. When I approached him, I simply submitted into a lower brother position because I felt that every body has a soft spot and wants to be a bigger brother to some one. In other words, everyone desires to be of value and a bigger brother often provides that kinda important feeling. Hence I told him that we're outta town and that if he could be an older brother and help me out as to where my crowd can go. At that point, he went into bigger brother role and assisted us in getting into the venue.
THE WRAP UP
LEARN TO REALLY LOVE PEOPLE is the morale here. Once you do, finding out what's important to them and how to relate to those feelings will be easy. And once you can super relate to others, naturally they'll want to reflect that energy to ya in the way they know how. To police officers, that reflected energy are often in the form of a TICKET waiver.
I hope the experiences and thoughts above will serve you well and if there's anything you can help me further expand my perspective on the subject, it'll be greatly appreciated because I'm always seeking to learn to expand my awareness of this beautifully infinite universe. ALSO, I in no way claim that the above approaches will work for you but rather they are a firm belief as to how they work from my perspective. If you don't already have an approach, what's the harm in giving it a try and please let us know how it goes for ya so we can learn from it together. THANK YOUUUUUU.
Daniel n Brittanny